Mucky-minded meanderings

 

I’ve just proven what a mucky-minded lot my readers are! I checked the stats for views to this blog, and There’s nowt so erotic as rubber, Going topless in Spain, Art for Fart’s sake, and Nothing like a good blow job, have all had the most hits – despite the fact that, other than the double entendre of their titles, they have nothing to do with sex at all. I don’t suppose you can be totally to blame, though…after all it was me who wrote the titles, as much as a way of drawing your eye as trying to add a bit of a giggle to the blog.

As a journalist, I’ve always been pretty crappy at thinking of titles, usually hoping that the editor could pull something out of the copy that hadn’t automatically jumped out to me and made me think – ‘now that’s a good title! It’s even worse in these days of SEO, when all the pundits say that you’ve got to get your keywords into the title but keep it short, so that the nefarious Google spiders can pull me out and push me up the rankings to the point where I’ll have so many followers I can flog this site on to some up-and-coming internet entrepreneur. But I’m a feature writer, I don’t even get warmed up until I’ve written five hundred words, so distilling the essence of my finely honed text into a five-word headline, three of which are keywords, is way beyond my editorial skills.

I do keep trying, though, and I’m quite proud of an article I wrote about Sagunto in Castellon, which I called ‘The Arse End of the World’ (which isn’t as insulting as you think, read it and all will be explained.) I was even prouder still, and very surprised, when the magazine actually used the title! I can’t say that it’s particularly descriptive of the town, so isn’t very likely to pull the in punters who are looking for information about Sagunto, but it’s the third most read article on my website, which yet again goes to show that my readers have a pretty mucky mentality.

To be honest, I don’t think I’m very good at this blogging malarkey. I get bombarded almost daily with information about how I’m supposed to get an enormous following, have them all hanging on my every word, tease them all with give-aways and then hit them with a product that they really can’t live without and can only get from me. From then on, supposedly, I just sit back and let the mooley role in. Unfortunately, that’s the point I usually unsubscribe at.

The problem is, I don’t actually have a product to tempt you with. I wish did, because I could certainly do with living a mooley-ish lifestyle in my sunset years. I’d happily give things away just to keep you coming back but I’m a bit short on the ‘must-have report’ or the e-book that will change your life in under three minutes by simply showing you the best way to slice a cucumber. And believe me, I’ve got a hard-drive full of this type of cobblers, but if hasn’t done me that much good I’m too nice a chap to try and foist it off onto you.

So, I suppose it’s just back to the keyboard keeping myself entertained, if no-one else. But at least I did get one supportive message a while back. It said, “Great site, Dad, really enjoyed it”. I was from my son, Tom, who sent me an email a few minutes later saying, “I’ve just realised, I probably shouldn’t have put ‘Dad’ in that message. It looks a bit sad if it seems like there’s only your son reading it.” He has a point, but it’s better than no bugger reading it at all! Even if all they’re looking for are salacious titles to satisfy their mucky minds.

And I wonder if you’ve been able to resist looking at the blogs I mentioned, just to see if I’m lying and they really are mucky after all!

If you would like to know more about Spain, visit my web site, www.derekworkman-journalist.com , and Spain Uncovered.